He’s Always a Fleischman to Me

(to the tune of “She’s Always a Woman to Me” by Billy Joel)

Words by Doug Norton, for VSRI 2002.

He can model disease with an egg with partitions,

Write equations of rates with initial conditions.

He can graph the solutions as functions of t,

Then explain it to you, ’cause he’s always a Fleischman to me.

He can help with World Health or with training planaria,

Try to get you to work with acetabularia,

Talk about Bell Curve, life tables, or HIV:

He’s a true polymath, and he’s always a Fleischman to me.

CHORUS

Oh, he takes care with his words.

            We can wait if he wants:
            He’s just taking his time.

            Oh, and he finds the right words

            To say just the right things

            Just to mess with your mind.

He’ll read poetry, then read Vacation Surprises,

Ride his bike through New Jersey before the sun rises,

Talk of music and wine and drink lots of coffee:
He’s a Renaissance guy, and he’s always a Fleischman to me.

CHORUS

He will bring you Russ Gardner to talk hypertension,

Gen Nelson, Tim Clarke, and some guy we won’t mention;

For Stats there’s Tom Short and Paul Lupinacci –

And what he will do is make family of you

’Cause he’s always a Fleischman to me.